Top Ten Reasons to attend Cage Titans United
From: Olde School

I’ve been thinking about the Cage Titans United event coming up, and there are more than a hundred good reasons to see this event. I’ve chosen the top ten, in no particular order!

1. Several hundred Pilgrims can’t be wrong. Nearly four hundred years ago several hundred Pilgrims set sail from jolly old England to the New World. They could have chosen the North Shore, Revere, but they didn’t think that culture would fit their lifestyle. They actually stopped briefly in Provincetown (that culture definitely didn’t fit their lifestyle), but they quickly left and that’s a story for another web site. They could have settled in Framingham, but the Mass Pike wasn’t letting the Mayflower on without paying the toll, and frankly, they were a little strapped for cash when they arrived. So Plymouth it was, and if it’s good enough for John Smith and the Pilgrims it’s good enough for you and me!

2. Great Fights! This fight card is gonna have better fights than my last family reunion, and I’m an Irish Catholic who married a Lithuanian Jew. My brother’s a recovering alcoholic who can start trouble at a baby shower. Half my family bleeds Boston Red Sox red while my Dad’s half craps NY Yankee pinstripe and the other half (?) are Washington DC politicians who are hated by everyone. I am one of six children in a family of alpha males and overachieving women while my wife’s siblings bounce on and off government handouts, subsidies, and welfare programs. (Then there’s my cousin, but we’re too embarrassed to talk about him.)
Seriously, this fight card has three fights on the Pro card that will impact the NorthEast MMA Rankings and another that features two former top ranked Amateurs who recently turned Pro. The Amateur portion of the card features five or six currently ranked Ammies facing off against one another. If you want to see good fights, come to Thanksgiving at my house. If it’s great fights you want to see, visit Cage Titans at Plymouth Memorial next weekend!

3. Plymouth Memorial Hall is flat out the best place to watch an MMA event. When this place is packed to the rafters with screaming fans there’s nothing like it in New England. I can’t state that enough; this place is tremendous, and it will be full of screaming fans. If you’ve never been there you need to check it out and not just to cross it off your bucket list, but because it’s that good! Get your tickets early unless you enjoy the view from the parking lot! Believe me, Plymouth rocks! Speaking of Plymouth Rock…

4. Plymouth Rock is just a short walk away from the in-town parking for Memorial Hall. You may want to visit a restaurant, walk the nations most historic down town, or maybe take in Ye Olde Candy Shoppe! (That’s how the pilgrims used to write things before spell check and text messaging were invented.) While in Plymouth add a little culture to your weekend!

5. FREE BEER!!! Actually there isn’t gonna be any free beer, I’m just kidding. (Sorry Bruce!)  But Mrs. Hannigan, my high school creative writing teacher, always said it’s best to insert a little humor (comic relief) in an otherwise serious topic. I heard that Plymouth does,  however,  offer free gas at all gas stations over the fight weekend!

6. Striper fishing is here, so if you grab a cheap hotel for the night you could treat yourself to some fishing. (These are striped bass, kind of like fresh water large mouth bass that swim in the pond behind Earl’s House of Steroids!) All you have to do is pull off Route 3 at any of the Plymouth exits and turn left (or right) and drive until the map turns blue… If you skip all the Plymouth exits you will be at the Cape Cod Canal, and this is probably the best striper fishing on the Eastern Sea Board. But don’t steal our favorite spot, or Mike Gresh (Loco Lobo) may have to come out of retirement! That’s right, Mike usually charges for MMA instruction, but if you steal his fishing spot he may give you a lesson for free!

7. MMAction. Cage Titans regularly provides some of the best MMAction and MMatch MMaking in the business, and if you sit cage side you often get the full effect! I love when I’m at the fights, sitting cage side, minding my own business, and I see the new guy (you can always spot the New Guy)! You can tell by the way he’s dressed (like his mom or his wife helped him) and the way he doesn’t cover his drink that New Guy knows nothing about sitting cage side at a Cage Titans event! He’s just so excited to be this close to the cage, almost like he’s working his first event! Then somewhere long about the second round of the third fight the action comes along our side of the cage and the MMA DNA starts to fly! Blood and sweat spatter the press and cage side tables and seats and that brand new white shirt and green tie that New Guy is wearing just incurred about 100 percent depreciation! After the disgusted look and the useless attempt to save the shirt by wiping it with a napkin (napkins don’t remove blood, and now he has mustard from the napkin on his shirt too), New Guy tries to brush it off and have a haul off his cage side beer, and that’s when he notices the little blood red floaters in his drink…That’s just special. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like violence. I definitely don’t want to see an arm broken because a fighter didn’t tap. I never want to see a torn retina land in my lap either, but this is the real deal. This is not a quilting class, so dress appropriately… And cover your beer.

8. Shelly the Waitress will be there. I cover forty or more MMA events per year and I have yet to meet her equal. Cage Titan CEO Mike Polvere has given Shelly full latitude to take care of all of us on the floor (the press, fight commission, cage side doctors, everybody except New Guy, who is probably in the bathroom by now, stripped down to his wife beater “T” shirt, trying to wash his new dress shirt). Shelly brings us water, soda, tube steaks, chips, etc. Shelly does this all with a lovely smile and a brilliant attitude! (I’m not just saying this to get on her good side!) Her energy, infectious personality, and friendliness alone are worth the price of admission! Now Cage Titan ring girls are all very pretty and hot, but really, Shelly’s got them all beat! (Well, okay, maybe I’m working on her little a bit.) But it’s all true. Wait till you meet Shelly…

9. Syndicate, Cape Cod’s premier rock band, will be starting out the night with a pre-fight concert. This band has been rocking The Cape and New England for many years now and you’ll want to get to the arena an hour or so early to see their show. Lead guitarist Jeff Wahtola is also a competitive MMA fighter, so unless you’re a pretty young groupie please don’t rush the stage!

10. Heavy hitters will be on hand! You may have the opportunity to bump into the famous Sityodtong corner men Mark Dellagrotte, Tyson chartier, and Johnny Johnson. You could meet Joe Lauzon or Josh Grispi. Maybe even Jeff “Scary Nickname” Nader will let you sign his cast! Or maybe none of this will happen and you’ll be in the men’s room and New Guy will be down to his whitey tighties and washing his socks in the sink, but let’s hope not!

There you have it folks, the top ten reasons to head out to Plymouth next weekend for the Cage Titans United!

Get your lawns cut early…

Olde School